Month: October 2023

Scripture Psalms 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.

Observation: I keep wanting to make my own way and chart my own course and every time I do I get lost. God already knows where He wants me and when I arrive He blesses me. Yesterday Teri and I did a luncheon for the women’s ministry, because that is where God guided us to go. It’s easy to distinguish where God wants you and where you go off on your own. I was tired and would have loved to sleep in and I worried about doing this for some time before the event and couldn’t wait until it was over, not an attitude that honors God. Everything went smooth. The women were blessed and thanked us for a wonderful lunch. During the serving time 2 women came up to me one took my depression class. Her and her husband weren’t getting along well and she told me how the two of them are getting along great because they take the focus off of themselves. The other woman simply told me that my book saved her life. I was on the path God guided me on.

Application: I need to let God take full control of my life, it’s His anyway. I’m so tired of messing up and feeling the anxiety that comes from making wrong decisions. I know the results when I’m on God’s path and when I stray off of it. I need to take this self pleasing desire I have, because it doesn’t work and make it a God pleasing desire.

Prayer: My Lord help calm my spirit and take this constant anxiety from my spirit. Put me on the path you want me on and keep me there please. I feel so lost and just want to come home most of the times, but I know I’m only here because it is your will. Show me how to fulfill the purpose you have created me for each day. I love and trust you, my Lord.

Scripture Psalms 31:24 Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the LORD.

Observation: I wish I had good courage. It seems I’m always afraid, worrying about what might happen and what I’ve done wrong. My courage needs to come from God and not my own strength, because I have none. Maybe my problem is that I don’t hope in the Lord and I depend too much on my own abilities. I know God has watched over me my whole life, but the devil sways me so easy because my hope isn’t in the Lord, because I feel I’m hopeless most of the time. My heart melts and I feel as if I have no strength left, maybe because I never had any on my own and I need to come before the Father and ask Him to strengthen my heart and to give me courage to win this battle I have each day.

Application: I need to spend more time with my God. I start off in the morning and then loss contact right away. I need to depend on Him with everything that goes on in my life and be obedient to His commands and walk in His light. I need to realize I can’t win this fight, only God can free me from this anguish I have each day. I need to be in good courage knowing that God is fighting the battle and not me. I need to rely on the Lord each day.

Prayer: Dear Lord I need you every day and every moment in each day. I need your strength, mercy and guidance to make it through this life. Please never let go, strengthen my heart and get me through each day in a way that glorifies you.

Scripture Psalms 30:11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

Observation: Most of my life I’ve been in mourning because of my depression. A day didn’t go by that I hoped it would be my last one. When Teri and I were watching over her dad as he was sick and dying, she told me how her mom and dad liked to dance. Her mom who had already passed before I ever met her, sounded like an awesome woman who loved God and her family. When Teri’s dad passed, I got up to speak at his service and repeated this scripture that God turns our mourning into dancing and that the two of them were most likely dancing with the Lord that day. Then I looked at my own life when each morning brought pain and sadness and how the Lord filled it with hope, telling this worthless man that I have a purpose and fulfilling that purpose will make me a great dancer.

Application: I need to take more dance lessons. I need to remove these negative thoughts and feelings from my life by replacing them with thoughts about my God. When I’m thinking of Him or doing His will my life is full of joy, only when I stray and think of myself or this world does the dancing stop.

Prayer: My Lord, thank you coming into my life when you did and how you have stayed throughout all of these years. Take this negative thinking from me and the feeling of mourning I sometimes have and change me. Renew my mind and direct me in the things you desire of me. I want to be a better servant and I want to draw closer to you. I love you and desire to dance.